Thank you all so much for your kind words after the passing of my Opa. It has been a crazy month. I was traveling for work and getting a few workouts in at the hotel, then as soon as I came home I was told my Opa would be going on hospice. He was brought to my parents house on Monday. I was planning on spending the day Friday but my father told me he wouldn’t last that long. Tuesday was my daughters very first swim lesson, so we didn’t go Tuesday. She loved it…
Wednesday I picked the kids up early from daycare and we shot up to my parents house. By then he was barely able to keep his eyes open, but when he did he registered that me and the kids and James were there. We talked to him and squeezed his hands. He tried to open his eyes and focus but it took so much energy.
My husband urged me to stay the night and at 4:30 am my mother called me down. “It’s time,” she said, just like the doctor said to be during childbirth. We all held his hands and he slowly just stopped breathing.
It was remarkable to see a body so full of life, that contained such a a HUGE personality, just stop. The last breath was gone and in that instant, so was he.
I don’t often talk about faith, but at that moment, I was so glad I had my faith, to know that he is not just gone but in heaven with his wife and they are looking down on us. He is at peace and no longer in pain.
We called my brother to tell him and he came to the house by 6am. We called the hospice nurse to pronounce him after 8 and spent time with him, drank our coffee and remembered the good times.
There was so much to do, so many arrangements to make. We had the wake on Friday and the funeral Monday followed by the mosileum. There was a lot of drinking, a lot of German beer songs, a lot of family. He was honored to have a 2 soldier solute at the mosileum for serving our country in the army and my dad was presented with the flag.
Jimmy sang Ein Prosit on the way home…
I thought things would calm down and I could rest Tuesday but there was urgent things to do at work- so off I went.
Now, finally today I was able to get back into a routine. I felt so at peace and at home when I walked downstairs this morning
All these emotions I had been carrying seemed to be sweat away. I feel so alive and so blessed to have such an amazing family and be surrounded by love and have a body young and healthy enough to exercise. Life happens, fitness is a journey. The best we can do is for it in with the time we are given.
Last Friday, as my blog post mentioned, I was pretty devastated. It did affect my weekend a bit which I am not proud of. During my workout this morning I had an epiphany, so I am writing this with my heart rate still recovering because we all know, if we don’t write it down immediately, the thought is lost forever.
Basically what I came to was, no matter what happens today I am not going to quit coaching. It has had so many positives in my life. The first is that I have reconnected and met so many amazing people. People doing it all against all odds. People who push through adversity. Everyone has their own story and I have loved learning about each persons life.
Secondly, a huge part of coaching is personal development. If I hadn’t started coaching, I would not have started listening to books in my car. I would have never picked up a success or motivational book and those books have advanced my career and helped my marriage.
Coaching is not about the money. It is about helping others (as well as myself) unleash the strong amazing person that is inside each and every one of us. The only way I can do that is to continue to reach out to more people. This blog, and instagram may become a bigger platform for me. The negativity on facebook is staggering sometimes. It is sad that with such a huge networking platform where we can reach the world people choose to complain about the weather or traffic. There are so many beautiful things we can share.
Plus fitness and nutrition are a passion of mine. It is FUN to see what the human body can do and even more fun to watch someone else realize it when their transformation begins.
Each person is going through something, and I am going to be there if they need a friend.
I’ve been listening to a ton of books on my commute to and from work (thank you audible) and this theme has been resonating with me a lot, I wanted to bring it up.
When we do what is in line with our values we are at peace.
If you value time with your family, but whenever you are home you are on your phone there will be an internal struggle within yourself.
These guys are the ones I need to put first.
But the struggle is so REAL!
I want to learn about new innovative products for skincare, dive deeper into the acne category, explore new ingredients and run a million experiments. I want to exercise, train for a marathon, lift, swim, bike, and get yoga certified. I want to learn about the biochemistry of nutrition, I want to understand carb cycling and macros in addition to other modes of calculating how much of each nutrient you should be eating. I want to read motivational books, and journal, and reach out to as many people as I can and help hundreds of moms get in shape and start taking care of themselves. BUT, at the core of everything I don’t want to miss my kids childhood. Seriously, because I mean, how cute are they?!
I REALLY want to do all these things and I want to give 100%, but in reality I just can’t! There are only 24 hours in a day.
I had to find a way to do some but make sure I was putting my kids and husband first. I started realizing that I was spending so much time away from my kids because I was working and I started to not enjoy my work as much. I made it a point to put my phone away from the moment I walked in house until the kids went to bed. By just making that small change, those 2 hours are for my kids. I mean, sort of. I am still cooking dinner and cleaning up during that time, but if they are talking to me, they have my attention. I am not being distracted. I may pull it out to snap pictures here and there of dinners we are making.
I found ways to accomplish most of what I want to in the 24 hours a day that I am given.
I have my entire life to become an expert in any of those field. I will run a marathon some day and I will get my yoga certification some day. That day is just not today.
Think about the things that you value in your life, put them first and the rest will fall into place.
We may just have to prioritize the amazingness.